TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES: 10/11/09

A lunch menu and a tee-shirt I saw this weekend at still sunny and warm beach resort.

How to Spank a Woman

This was offered in live chat one Wednesday night in 1996, and it still holds up quite well. The subject of the discussion was how to spank a woman. There are, of course, as many different ways to spank a woman as there are women, but I feel confident that this template will work for many first-timers. If not, brother, can you paradigm?
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Make a big long deal out of pulling her skirt up or pants down and take forever tugging her panties down, but not all the way off.

Make her feel like a princess and a brat at the very same time.

Put your hand on her bare bottom before you spank.

Lecture her so softly she has to strain to hear you and she prays you stop talking and start spanking.

Position her carefully back and forth over your lap until everything is just right. (Take the keys out of your right front pocket lest her squirming gouge a gash in your thigh.)

Place your left hand on the small of her back.

Then tell her how much you care about her (love her, if appropriate) and then spank her con brio. (Southpaws should reverse the hand positions)

Spank her until she can’t stand it anymore.

Then give her five more slow spanks. This will be hard for you to do, but make them harder than before. (As you may wind up, too)

Gently pluck the panties from her ankles, and with a flourish toss them across the room.

Then it is on your lap for some cuddling and solace, while remaining stern and insisting she needed the spanking.

Warn her that next time, it will be harder and with the implement she fears the most.

Return to a real-life mode but without her panties on.

As you let her up off your lap, gently brush her nipples with your hand.

Run your hand through her tangled hair and then down her neck.

Tell her she is a good girl.

But she is a good girl only because you care enough to spank her bare bottom.

TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Day at the Beach

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