TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES

Holiday Art

2011-12-24T11:56:00.000-05:00

Although this work is an example of Dadaism, it is clearly a mother and child reunion.

"The Virgin Spanking the Christ Child," by Max Ernst

Eighteen of the Best

2011-12-18T22:21:00.000-05:00

From the archives, a collection of big girls who should, but did not, know better, and consequently got a very very old-fashioned spanking -- over clothes or underwear. Disciplinary motives, only, of course.

Things to Be Thankful For

2011-11-24T15:49:00.000-05:00

2011-10-30T17:26:00.000-04:00

Been away for awhile, but the combination of school days and Halloween certainly call for an update, although the 'Ween pix have been posted here in previous years.

2011-08-19T18:24:00.000-04:00

Been cleaning out the den and the attic during the summer doldrums (at least here in the northern hemisphere) and just turned my attention to the electronic den and attic to offer odds and ends, particularly the latter.

Signposts

2011-07-24T14:49:00.000-04:00

I was driving alone, so I couldn't get photographic evidence, but I was amused as I drove past Cold Bottom Road near Baltimore -- delaying my trip in vain search for any corresponding Warm Bottom Road.

By the time I got to Ontario, I was surprised to find a sign for the Tawse Winery near St. Catharine,

and, on the way back, and a town named Sodom. I did not bother looking for its twin city of Gomorrah.

Just thought I would share.

She Always Knew

2011-06-23T19:50:00.000-04:00

The highlight of that summer began with a simple, soft, “I know” whispered by Aunt Dorothy.

I was in my room in her house, where I was staying for a month while my parents were on a cruise for their 20th anniversary. My older cousins were on their own separate vacations.

It was one of those hazy lazy crazy days of summer when I was mentally vacationing on Mars while leaning back in the chair by the computer on a desk in the guest room. The screen had gone to black so there was nothing particularly incriminating in view when she approached.

“I know, Ted. I know.”

I would like to tell you that I had no clue as to what she was talking about, but it must have been her tone, or the breeze from the ceiling fan that billowed the sundress momentarily. The first thing I felt at hearing those words was a rash of goosebumps along my arm. Then an involuntary contraction in the pit of my stomach, and then a buzzing in my ears. I hadn’t felt like that since 2nd grade when I was caught peeking in the girl’s bathroom.

Of course, all that took only milliseconds, so I was able to reply with only a brief catch in my throat, “Huh?”

“Teddy, I know what your interest is, what you do when you hole up in your room all day.”

I began to panic. How could she know?

When Aunt Dorothy reached over my shoulder, I got a whiff of her light lilac fragrance. She clicked a key on the computer to awaken it from its sleep mode, and I felt sick. A full screen of spanking images came to life.

She must have been amused at the incoherent sounds produced from somewhere between my legs and my vocal cords because it seemed an eternity before she spoke again.

“I know, Ted. I’ve known awhile. I saw how you used to stand at the bottom of the stairs when I would have to chase Carol and Kenny upstairs with the yardstick when you would visit.” I turned redder than a Russian revolutionary as she continued. “I saw you make up reasons to accidentally wander past Carol’s room when she was over my knee and Kenny’s when your late Uncle Brad had to put Kenny over the bed.”

Aunt Dorothy realized that I was about to pass out or throw up, I don’t remember which, so she ran her hand across my brow and said, once again, more soothingly than before, “I know.”

“It’s okay, Teddy,” she comforted. After a pause that could have been one second or one hour, I heard her say, “Why don’t you get up now.” It was not a question, and I would not have answered her back for anything at that moment.

I got up and, almost as tall as she was, finally looked her in the eye. Her silver hair was stylishly cut long, and she was not a severe woman at all. In fact she was my favorite relative. How could I have done this to her! How could I have been caught? How could I continue living with my secret now revealed?

“I know my sister doesn’t believe in it, and you probably haven’t needed it much anyway. But you are dying to know what it’s like, aren’t you, Teddy?”

I looked away, but in that state I couldn’t even tell you what I saw. “Well?” she purred. I cocked my head in her general direction and raised a shoulder.

“I’ll be right back, young man,”she said, and as far as I was concerned, her promise sounded like it came from General MacArthur.

I could have made a break for the door, or leaped out the second floor window or willed myself into another dimension. Instead, I stood still like a soldier until Aunt Dorothy returned – with a souvenir-stand paddle and a grim grin.

“You know very well that you are not allowed to misuse my computer like that, Theodore.”

“Uh huh,” I meekly declared.

“If there are things you need to know, you could have asked.”

“But Aunt Dorothy, I couldn’t talk about that! No one talks about that.”

“Well certainly not in public, Theodore. But this is in the family. Since you are interested, I don’t think 13 is too late for your curiosity to be satisfied.”

My heart pounded, my knees turned gelatinous.

"Don’t you???”

But it wasn’t a question.

All questions were asked and answered and my curiosity was satisfied to the fullest extent in the next, most important passage, of my life.

I don’t have to tell you what happened next, but I will confide that when my parents returned from their cruise, I asked for and was granted an extra month with Aunt Dorothy.

Father's Day

2011-06-19T19:26:00.002-04:00

It is late on Father's Day in the USA, and already tomorrow in most of the rest of the world, but I shan't let this day pass without paying tribute to all the Dear Old Dads.

Someone Got to Second Base!

2011-06-07T20:46:00.001-04:00

Never before have I been a big fan of girl's softball, but this could change my mind.

The Rapture

2011-05-21T15:16:00.000-04:00

(A new story)
On late Saturday afternoon, after hearing from half a dozen neighborhood parents about what Maggie had done at school the day before, Mr. Teufel called her into his den at home for what she knew would be a dressing down.

He summoned her to his side behind his desk and, while she was punctuating her apologies with sarcasm, he began his lecture. She would rather have been sitting on a hard pew at church listening to an incomprehensible sermon.

“Magdalena, you are a 6th grader and you are supposed to show a little leadership and maturity.”

“But Daddy, I was just having some fun with them. Besides you always tell me to listen to the news.”

He replied, “There is a big difference between discussing the news and scaring the daylights out of the 1st graders by telling them, as fact, that the world is going to end today.”

She rolled her eyes. “Who would even believe that no matter what age they are, Daddy?”

“You would be surprised at what people of any age would believe, and I am very disappointed in you. You did not heed my warnings to stop talking about such things at school where young kids are impressionable and where kids come from different families with different beliefs.”

“Geez, it’s no big deal,” she declared, unaware that the terra on which she planted her flag was not so firma.

“Well it is a BIG deal to the kids who had nightmares and whose parents came up to me in town today.”

“DADDY, the world isn’t going to end today!”

He pulled her closer to him, opened the desk drawer and procured the dreaded fork-tongued strap of her youth. “For YOU it might, young lady!”

With that, he leaned her across his lap, lifted her skirt up and tugged her panties down.

As he raised the tawse for a well-deserved lesson in Christian humility, the clock in the hall struck six, and what a shame it was that she would never enjoy the rapture of an adult spanking and what often follows.

Nor would anyone else.

Mother's Day, 2011

2011-05-07T22:39:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day comes early this year, and best wishes to all mothers to do the same.

Girls, Boys and the Great Outdoors

2011-04-26T12:12:00.000-04:00

Shame and scandal that it has been so long since I last updated. No excuses, but if followers would remind me more often, maybe I would become more attentive.

In this potpourri, I am including F/m artwork from the Barb O’Toole treasury. I have not previously portrayed young men in distress only because there are so few portrayals that seem realistic, and to me, what would fantasies be without the leavening of reality!

In honor of springtime arriving most everywhere, there are a couple of outdoor corrections, as well.

A Winter's Tail

2011-02-13T10:29:00.000-05:00

Hadn't realized how long it's been since I updated the blog. It's even almost spring time -- that is the wake-up temperature here was slightly above freezing for the first time in ages. The winter has been so cold I have taken to wearing pajamas, and therein lay -- among other things -- the motivation to post some warmth beyond what mere fabric might provide.

A Beside the Point Movie Spanking

2010-12-28T21:04:00.000-05:00

How unusual to see a mainstream movie with a teenage girl who needs to be spanked -- and actually is! In this case, spanked by hand and switched, all too realistically for some.

No surprise: It is a scene in the current version of "True Grit," which is so brilliant it didn't even need the spanking scene to hold my interest. It is Jeff Bridges' annual drunken old man movie, and he's got the character down pat by now. The girl, played by Hailee Steinfeld is a certain Oscar nominee, as she carries the story and acts as well as the professionals.

Unfortunately, I cannot find a public domain photo of the spanking scene, but it is just as well because there is nothing prurient about it and it more severe than the patty-cake Glenn Campbell-Kim Darby match-up a generation ago.

I don't recall seeing the original except on TV, and it as milquetoast compared to this one, written and directed by the Coen Brothers, anything of whose is worth the price of admission.

O, Holy Night

2010-12-23T21:20:00.000-05:00

I think spanking should be considered a religion. It has as much ritual as any traditional cult, and, like Christianity, it heavily relies on sin, guilt, confession, penance, forgiveness, redemption

To celebrate the season, here is some religious art, followed by some religious hymns.

Go Tell it on the Mountain

You'll yell, and start to poutin'

Over the knee, no underwear.

You'll yell, there is no doubtin'

"Jesus Christ," you'll swear!

While siblings are a watching

Through bedroom door ajar

He'll hold you 'round your hips, girl,

And spank till you see stars.

You'll yell, and start to poutin'

Over the knee, no underwear.

You'll yell, there is no doubtin' --

"Jesus Christ," you'll swear!

(Good King Wenceslas)

Spanking Wendy's ass all day

Should be a treat for Stephen.

But she seemed bored and far away

The girl was not a grievin.'

Bright and red her moons that night

From a paddling cruel;

When a poor man saw the sight,

Stephen said, "You, too, will

Spank the girl; she'll call you, "Sir"

Her grieving will be built-in.

Make believe it isn't her

Instead, it's Paris Hilton!

"She was most unrepenting

For making fun of aunty

Wendy needs an upending

And taking down of panties."

The hungry man gave twenty licks

With strength of sudden virulence

Her tears and squirms and ankle kicks

Were born of much experience.

Each played the part up to the hilt

Master, beggar, bad girl

The poor man lifted up her kilt ‑‑

Gained treasures of the world.

In her master's steps she trod

On the carpet deep‑piled

To bed chamber of her lord,

"You no more will weep, child."

The lesson we should learn, fer sure

'Bout giving and a thanking:

Ye who bottom for the poor

Shall get the richest spanking.

("Nowell")

No‑o‑o sir, no‑o‑o sir,

My angel did say

Tears rolling free and her pants down halfway

I‑i‑n shame did she cry

When each lick echoed "WHAP"

And she tightened her cheeks in advance of the strap.

No‑o‑o sir, no‑o‑o sir,

From now on I promise to be a good girl.

("Let it Snow")

Your behavior this year was frightful

So your butt will be a sightful

And since you've no place to go

Let it show, let it show, let it show

You displayed no signs of stopping

So the paddle will do some popping

Your pants are pulled down low

Let it show, let it show, let it show

When you finally say goodnight

And your attitude does reform

And you decide that you won't fight

All the way home you'll be warm

The fire is slowly drying

And my dear you still are crying

But as long as you love me so

Let it show, let it show, let it show

(“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" - very dated but possibly still funny)

I saw Mommy spanking Doctor Ross

After she watched ER last night.

She seemed a bit loony

As she spanked a phantom Clooney

She fantasized a fuck

While her eyes were glazed and moony.

Then, I saw Mommy tickle Doctor Ross

Underneath his scrubs so green and tight

She led him gently ghostly bedward

And then saw 'twas Anthony Edwards

Mommy spanked 'stead of Doctor Ross that night.

The Carol of Gloria Schlepper

("Angels We Have Heard on High")

Ankles where the panties hang

Dangling over white socks plain

And her bottom bouncing high

Echoing the plaintive cry:

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria,

"'Twas excessive mayo."

Schleppers eat their corned beef dry

With some mustard on the rye

What their daughter did, insane,

Caused her to hear Dad complain:

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria,

"'Twas excessive mayo."

Come to Beth and Sam's Deli

Where the sandwich right, you'll see.

No more bread you'll buy that's white

Or your tushie's red and bright.

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria,

"'Twas excessive mayo."

Why are you a stranger, girl,

To the kosher style world?

Him whose birth the others praise

Leads to gobs of mayonnaise.

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria,

"'Twas excessive mayo."

"His Cheeks Were Like Roses"

2010-12-13T11:09:00.004-05:00

I was having an online chat recently with someone who was brought up under the ministrations of a paternal hairbrush on bare bottom. In answer to her question, I offered a thought that has been percolating for a long time in my own fantasies – that a non-Draconian belt spanking can be more effective for some people.

My thinking is as follows:

The belt is a scary sight, whether hung in the house where it can be seen or whether slowly being unfurled from dad’s trouser loops.
The sound of it cracking across an innocent bare bottom is punishment in itself and usually is heard a millisecond before the lit fire is actually felt.
It is usually the last weapon in a parent’s arsenal, and the threat of it – at least for me as a child – was enough to enforce obedience.
It typically requires a bed or couch for best application, and it graduates the recipient from childish over-the-lap hand spankings to something that will cause a miscreant to become instantly accountable and eventually less like to repeat the same offense.
Because of its potential to be seen as an instrument of abuse (think, “whipping” or “flogging”), a decent administrator will apply slower and with more care than a brush, which can be brought down way too easily and hard in an otk position.
Finally, and I am open to hearing commentary to the contrary, I think a fairly administered licking with a belt, which conforms to the shape of the bottom it is kissing is less painful than the unyielding cracks and thuds of a wooden brush or paddle. A belt may leave red stripes – appropriate for the season! – but in my experience they fade faster than the imprint of a brush or paddle.

Again, these are just my thoughts, and experts are welcome to comment. And this is, of course, just an introduction to a series of photos that may clarify the pros and cons.

Turnovers

2010-11-28T10:58:00.000-05:00

As the American Thanksgiving holiday comes to an end, many of us focused on turnovers. Apple turnovers, perhaps, or as football fans know the No. 1 axiom in predicting which team will win is one that forces the most turnovers.

Of course, readers of this blog have an entirely different context for turnovers, as follows:

The Learning Curves

2010-11-15T18:27:00.000-05:00

Always wondered where the moments right before a spanking or the moments right after are the real teachable moments.

To the right, please find a survey on this question of utmost world significance.

In the meantime, we call all appreciate both the "before" and "after" portions of the learning curve.

BEFORE

AFTER

Scariest Time of the Year

2010-10-27T18:21:00.000-04:00

That's right, Halloween following in two days by Election Day in the United States.

Here is a fresh take on the importance of voting.

And here is just a fresh take

Mounted Majesty

2010-10-09T16:40:00.003-04:00

I happened to be switching channels (with a remote, silly!) when I came across a football game involving a team I have never followed before: The Texas Tech Red Raiders.

I didn’t quite know what a Red Raider is, and all I know about Texas Tech is that John Hinckley went there for awhile.

As to what a Red Raider looks like – and this picture does not quite do it justice – the one on TV was a long-haired female astride a black horse. She wore a black mask, a black bolero hat, black boots, an all-black uniform except for a flowing red cape, and an evil grin. She held what looked like a crop in her right hand. And whenever the football team did something of note, the TV camera would close in the mounted female Red Raider. Even when the team did nothing of note!

Just thought I would share.

Potpourri

2010-09-30T21:23:00.000-04:00

No special themes this time, except perhaps a tribute to Alex Trebek -- a potpourri of punishment.

That Time of Year Again

2010-08-21T19:28:00.001-04:00

In my neighborhood on Monday, the sidewalks and school halls will be filled once again with students returning for another year of education. For many of us, the opening of another school year evokes memories of yore and fantasies of sore.

Many of the following exhibits are not new to this blog, but what is learning if not repetition? Starting with perhaps the most iconic -- and copied -- image of the genre.

Shed Games

2010-08-01T15:51:00.002-04:00

I had to spend a good deal of time the last day or two cleaning up my property from a storm last weekend. In gathering and bagging wayward branches, twigs and bamboo canes, I couldn’t help but start thinking about woodsheds. Like how much wood would a woodshed shed if a woodshed could shed wood.

“The woodshed” is such a commonly used phrase in America, anyway, as a place where some otherwise competent adult in business, athletics or politics is taken there when under criticism from a boss for some foolish act.

I have never actually seen a real woodshed and can’t quite tell you what one looks like, or smells or feels like. I can imagine the sounds emanating from one, however. Until I can picture a woodshed, here are some images of naughty young adults in or on the way to a woodshed, sometimes not even making it all the way there before business had to be taken care of.

Porn on the Fourth of July

2010-07-04T11:07:00.001-04:00

Father's Day

2010-06-20T14:36:00.002-04:00

Almost forgot it's Father's Day!
But all the sports programming keeps reminding me.

So here are but a few other reminders for anyone who might not have been thinking of his or her father.

Fill in the Spanks

2010-05-28T19:44:00.001-04:00

NEWS ITEM:

Tara O'Malley, the 18-year-old daughter of Gov. Martin O'Malley (D), was treated and released from a Baltimore hospital Thursday night after becoming ill at a graduation celebration, First Lady Katie O'Malley said in a statement.

"Tara returned home last night, and is feeling much better," Katie O'Malley said in a statement issued late Friday morning. "As we deal with this family matter and treat it as a teachable moment, we thank the public for respecting our privacy and encourage all parents and teenagers to be safe this graduation season."
_____________________________________________________
(your fantasy spanking scenario goes here)
_____________________________________________________
(and here)
_____________________________________________________
(and here)
_____________________________________________________

Mother's Day - III

2010-05-06T22:32:00.000-04:00

Mothers Day -- II

2010-05-06T22:31:00.000-04:00

More of the same from loving moms

Mothers Day -- I

2010-05-06T22:30:00.000-04:00

In a few days we will be celebrating Mother's Day by buying flowers and candy or taking Mom out to dinner and trying to assuage our guilt.

But really there are more traditional and less expensive ways to assuage guilt, and I think you know what I mean.

In celebration of the day, I am going to be posting in three parts the best tribute to mothers I can imagine.

Misbehaving in Temple

2010-04-16T13:46:00.000-04:00

The front page of one of the world's leading newspapers had room for the Icelandic volcano, Wall Street shenanigans, a gay rights move by President Obama, a national security leak and -- school paddling.

Clearly, just another move by the socialist mainstream media to make Texas education look bad, although some might suggest this article is merely a snowflake in avalanche on that subject.

For school paddling fans, there may be some dismay because as you read through the article, paddling doesn't even go on very much where it is encouraged. But I thought some readers might want to keep up with pedagogical trends and I might want to dust off some school photos.

Hard Data Is So Exciting

2010-04-12T20:31:00.000-04:00

Another year, another study. Those damn academics somehow seem more fascinated by spanking than some of us. So no surprise that yet another prestigious study reports evidence that it doesn't work as intended.

I do find the following thought from the Time Magazine article on the subject rather amusing:

"I'm excited by the idea that there is now some nice hard data that can back up clinicians when they share their caution with parents against using corporal punishment," says Dr. Jayne Singer, clinical director of the child and parent program at Children's Hospital Boston, who was not involved in the study.

That hard data is almost always exciting, Dr. Jayne!

I don't intend to spark debate on this never-ending, somewhat tiresome issue, but I thought it would be a good idea to share the news with my friends here and it serves as an opportunity to revisit the issue pictorially.

Easter Rising

2010-04-03T11:43:00.000-04:00

Here is an old chestnut from my story trove appropriate, I hope for the season. As an added bonus, a few Easter illustrations not connected to the story follows:

Easter Rising

She was born on Easter almost nine years before, so it was Lily Jessica’s favorite time of the year. Even though the two celebrations hardly every coincided exactly, the family always observed her birthday on Easter Sunday, after the egg and candy hunt on the farm and after the trip to church.

Maybe it was mistake to have the two special parties at once for Li’l Jessie, as she was called, was sometimes wound tighter than a 34-inch belt on a 38-inch waist. Now we call it attention deficit disorder, but back then, it was simply called being naughty. And back then, there were real consequences.

On this Saturday night, it was like closing a barroom on St. Patrick’s Day for the adults to get her and her cousins Maggie and John to bed by 9 o’clock. Mommy and Daddy had looked forward to a quiet evening with her younger brother, Uncle Joey, and his wife, Aunt Maria, watching professional basketball players compete for the collegiate championship. Daddy had carefully set the funny alarm clock -- the one that was shaped like a chicken and clucked morning wake-ups like Alanis Morissette on crack – to sound at 7:30 Easter morning.

At 9:43, Lily crept halfway down the stairs and sat with her hands gripping the banister staves and trying to watch the game.

“L.J! Back to bed!” called her father.

“But Daddy, the alarm clock went off by mistake and I couldn’t get back to sleep.”

Daddy excused himself, scooped L.J. up with a gentle hand under the seat of her lamb-jumping-over-the-fence PJs. He put her back to bed, as Maggie and John slept, and warned her to stay put. Or else.

No one knows whether it was the faulty clock again or something wired into Li’l Jessie’s behavior control center, but at 2:57 a.m., when Daddy came to the kids’ room to check on Maggie’s moaning – she was having a nightmare about stones – he noticed that his own daughter was not in her bed. Frantic, he roused Mommy and Maria and Joey. Turning on all the lights, including the flood lamps that could have lit their neighbor’s Field of Dreams, Daddy found Lily Jessica squatting at the edge of the cornfield.

“WHAT IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE, YOUNG LADY!!!”

Shivering, she peeped that the alarm clock had gone off again by mistake and since she couldn’t go back to sleep she thought she would get a head start on the Easter egg hunt. Mommy, Joey and Maria sighed in relief, and then headed back to the big house, leaving Daddy alone with his little girl. And not much for either of them to say.

“I am angry with you, Li’l Jessie,” he said in sorrow. “You had us worried to death, and you have been disobedient ever since supper. You showed an extreme lapse of judgment.”

He took the tiny wicker basket from her hand and set it down, then hoisted himself on a hay bale. Her face crinkled like a tin can imploded by a vacuum cleaner, and faster than a tornado finding a trailer park, the dark curls on her head were flying toward the rich Iowa soil as Daddy turned LJ across his own lap of judgment. Down came the prancing lambs on her PJ bottoms and down came her father’s strong hand.

It wasn’t a long spanking, and not particularly hard, but it had to happen for Lily Jessica to be able to pay full attention to the joy of her Easter/birthday celebration free of guilt and ready to grow into another year -- a year that began with Daddy sitting on the side of her bed at 7:30 a.m. when the clock crowed a third time and she rose again.

The End
and more

Aurally

2010-03-26T20:53:00.000-04:00

Something happened recently that seems like it should be a Twilight Zone episode. In fact, there may have been one something like it.

I thought so hard about the perfectly spanked bottom that when I later downloaded some pictures from my digital camera, there it was. Not a perfectly taken picture, and, in fact, its very fuzziness lends it a literal aura -- a dreamlike image.

I thought I would share this, and allow you to make up your own storyline to accompany it.

Erogenous Zoning

2010-02-05T21:08:00.000-05:00

Changes in my daily patterns have kept me from keeping up with my morning newspaper once I pick it up from the sidewalk.

Who knows what else I have missed by not reading past Page One, upon which appeared this morning this amusing article appeared. Most news in this paper is national or international. But here was a breaking news story of local note.

Montgomery County sex-party host must role-play by the zoning rules

By Paul Duggan
Washington Post Staff Writer

To understand how Paul Pickthorne got cross-wise with Montgomery County's land-use regulations, you'll need a glossary:

"R-60" is a zoning classification for subdivisions of single-family houses where commercial activity generally isn't permitted. The 6300 block of Tone Drive in Bethesda is such a place, a tidy street of mostly 1950s brick ranchers just across River Road from Walt Whitman High School.

"BDSM" is short for "bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism." Velvet whips, leather hoods, six-inch stiletto heels, that kind of thing. If you were into the BDSM scene and periodically threw BDSM parties in your home -- as Pickthorne, a burly, jovial Briton, does in the castlelike 3,600-square-foot McMansion he rents at 6304 Tone Dr. -- you'd attract quite a crowd.

"Section 59-C-1.31" is the zoning code provision you'd be violating by having said parties in an R-60 zone if the guests pay to get in, as they do (or used to) at Pickthorne's nocturnal get-togethers. His events draw dozens of people. The cost: $20 for a basic ticket, $50 for VIP treatment.

"Kinky people" is the accepted term for folks who derive erotic pleasure from BDSM. "An amazing cross-section of humanity," says Pickthorne's friend Susan Wright, founder of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. "Men, women, transgender, heterosexuals, gays, bisexuals. Every ethnicity. White-collar and blue-collar. It's really very, very diverse -- though we do have an unusually high percentage of lawyers. I don't know why."

To read the rest, click here

Leather Weather

2010-01-09T22:43:00.000-05:00

It is bitter cold all over the U.S. tonight, and I was thinking a shot of whiskey might be a good warm-up device. Then I remembered I don't drink whiskey, but there is another belt of warmth that might do a lot of folks some good, no matter the weather outside.

Post-Holiday Reds

2009-12-27T15:11:00.000-05:00

What a surprise as I reached into my Christmas stocking and withdrew, in front of adult children, a light wooden spatula -- given apparently by my wife. Unwrapped! No one said anything because there were so many little trinkets being opened all around, and I guess the cover story was that I took up cooking as a hobby.

This morning, finally, this little thing was put to use and I must admit things got cooking!

By the way, has any other U.S. television watcher perked up every time that ubiquitous Wal-Mart commercial comes on in which a father is looking for "the hairbrush?" Actually, he is sorting through post-Christmas trash looking for "the hairbrush for a Rapunzel Barbie doll." Still, the word does have some resonance. I still won't patronize Wal-Mart however.

Having been admonished about the lack of production of this blog recently, here are a few post-Christmas accountings.

SEASON'S BEATINGS

2009-12-23T22:13:00.003-05:00

Headline in my morning paper:

Strapped parents vow to keep Christmas merry

May yours be merry, too.

Waiting in Line

2009-11-13T09:33:00.002-05:00

I was waiting in a commercial establishment the other day for a sales person whom I wanted to deal with. It actually was an electronics store, and I had my flip phone/camera to be studying, and the woman ahead of me at the counter made the long wait worthwhile.

As if created by a Modigliani of the legs, this woman was astoundingly proportion -- about 5-9 or 5-10, maybe 100 pounds, with the most perfectly compact, tiny tush contained by snug slacks that went on forever upward from the ankle to a perfect diamond opening at the seat.

This photo does not do her bottom justice. Only I in my fevered imagination could have done that. But I feel compelled to share the experience of waiting in line that I never minded.

BOO-hoo

2009-10-30T17:23:00.008-04:00

Remember when Halloween was a kid's festival? Remember even farther back when it was a Christian religious observance? I hate the fact that adults have taken it over, but it does provide grist for the fetish mill.

An Appeal for Assistance with a Photo

2009-10-26T11:14:00.004-04:00

PROBLEM SOLVED. Here is the photo, and thanks to Spanking Universe (just added to my link list).

Among my many talents, operating computers is low on the list. Thus, I am asking for help in finding one of my favorite spanking photos that I have had and shared for years but which suddenly appears in my files with an unreadable "ART" suffix. I have a new laptop that came with that damnable Vista, and I admit I am frequently clumsy in the handling, sorting and filing of data, and I cannot figure out why that photo, and several others, have become inoperable. So, advice on that score would be helpful, and if anyone has the photo in a jpeg or other standard format, please let me know. When I stole it, it was titled "Back on the Farm" and depicted what appeared to be a teenaged boy lying on a bed, fully clothed, receiving an apparently well-deserved strapping from an older woman, presumably related to him. Nothing erotic about this b/w photo, but it has its charm.

Thanks Ted

New links

2009-10-18T12:15:00.004-04:00

I have added the following to my favorite links. Please have a look.

Library of Spanking Fiction
http://www.spankinglibrary.co.cc/

Bottom Lines
http://www.bottomlines.co.uk/

Day at the Beach

2009-10-11T23:23:00.005-04:00

A lunch menu and a tee-shirt I saw this weekend at still sunny and warm beach resort.

Whole Food for Thought

2009-10-07T22:14:00.003-04:00

A friend sent me this photo from a shopping trip. Seems to me to be a trademark violation against Johnson & Johnson.

But let's not talk about johnsons. Just take a look at this "startling" product display and explain why this particular bathroom product should NOT be ouchless.

Seasons

2009-09-28T20:11:00.006-04:00

Well Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, is over and it is time to start sinning and making others atone for another year.

The weather has also turned cool, and naturally my thoughts about religion and weather today made me think about wool and then plaid skirts and then Catholic school spankings. And when there aren't enough of those, any skirt spanking will do.

So, in tribute to a number of threads, here is a compilation for the coming fall. The fall season. The FALL happened a long time ago,I once read.

Undress of Grievances

2009-09-09T21:35:00.007-04:00

Ever notice how it's always a conservative who gets caught with his pants down or in front of an open mike ... or in one case with HER pants down and HIM in front of an open mike.

If liberals ever do something considered immoral, and it would take a long time to find a recent example, it is merely expected. And it is not considered hypocritical.

So it is with mixed feelings I bring you the account of California Republican Mike Duvall. He committed an indiscretion during a career of making sure other people weren't allowed to have fun. On the other hand, it was about spanking. So maybe there is something to be said for conservatives. Yet the woman he bragged about is a lobbyist whose job it is to talk smack, not necessarily receive smacks.

Anyway, here is the story.

Lawmaker Quits Over Sex Comments

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (Sept. 9) - A
Republican state lawmaker from Southern

California resigned Wednesday amid

growing outrage over a videotape that

caught him bragging in graphic detail

about having sex with a female lobbyist

and another woman.

Assemblyman Mike Duvall, whose votes

on family-oriented legislation received

high marks from conservative groups,

said in a statement the furor over his

comments had begun to divert attention

from the work his fellow lawmakers were

trying to finish during the final week of

their session.

Duvall is married and has two adult

children.

In a recording of a legislative hearing,

Duvall can be heard talking about a

recent sexual escapade with a woman he

says is 18 years younger.

“I’m getting into spanking her,” Duvall is

heard to say on the videotape.

The other man asks if she likes it, too.

Duvall responds: “She goes, ‘I know you

like spanking me.’ I said, ‘Yeah, that’s

‘cause you’re such a bad girl.’”

The conversation was first reported by

KCAL-TV in Los Angeles and the

newspaper OC Weekly. The Associated

Press later obtained a copy of the

videotaped hearing.

Duvall, an Orange County lawmaker, said

it would not be fair to his family,

constituents or friends to remain in office.

“I am deeply saddened that my

inappropriate comments have become a

major distraction for my colleagues in the

Assembly, who are working hard on the

very serious problems facing our state,”

he said. “Therefore, I have decided to

resign my office, effective immediately, so

that the Assembly can get back to work.”

The 54-year-old lawmaker made the

comments about the affairs to another

lawmaker during a break in a committee

meeting at the Capitol over the summer,

and they were caught on a microphone at

his desk.

Duvall also discusses the woman’s “eyepatch

underwear” and the age difference

between himself and the lobbyist, who is

not named on the videotape. He tells the

other lawmaker, whose identity was not

immediately clear, that the woman’s

birthday was two days before the

committee hearing.

Duvall said he joked with the lobbyist that

she was getting old after turning 36 and

told her, “I am going to have to trade you

in.”

The lawmaker then brags about an affair

he is having with another woman.

“Oh, she is hot! I talked to her yesterday.

She goes, ‘So are we finished?’ I go, ‘No,

we’re not finished.’ I go, ‘You know about

the other one, but she doesn’t know about

you!’” Duvall can be heard saying in an

apparent reference to his affair with the

lobbyist.

Duvall received a 100 percent rating from

Capitol Resource Institute, a conservative

advocacy group, for his votes on

legislation considered pro-family during

the 2007-08 legislative session. The

institute did not immediately respond to a

request for comment.

Before resigning, Duvall apologized for

the comments on his campaign Web site

and said he made a mistake.

“I deeply regret the comments I made in

what I believed to be a private

conversation,” he said. “This is a private

matter and I ask that everyone respect

the privacy of all involved.”

Duvall’s Assembly office was locked

Wednesday afternoon.

Assembly Speaker Karen Bass, D-Los

Angeles, asked the Assembly Ethics

Committee to investigate. She also

removed Duvall from the Assembly

Utilities and Commerce Committee, which

considers utility regulations, and the

Assembly Rules Committee.

“I am saddened and disappointed in the

recent comments made by

Assemblymember Mike Duvall,” Bass

said in a statement. “There is no question

his comments were inappropriate.”

Assembly Minority Leader Sam

Blakeslee, R-San Luis Obispo, said he

also asked Duvall to step down as a

member of the Republican caucus

leadership.

“The statements he made were

inappropriate and unacceptable,”

Blakeslee said.

This is what I call undress of grievances.

The September of Their Years

2009-09-02T19:11:00.006-04:00

School started later in my neighborhood than in many other places in the USA. But it is never too late to remember how inevitable disciplinary problems were once resolved.

News Briefs

2009-08-31T19:41:00.009-04:00

It was the end of August, a notoriously slow news month, but not for articles about spanking-related attire.

Catholic school bans kilts

In a town near Toronto, a Catholic school, instead of requiring kilts, has banned them because enforcing the length was problematical. (I can think of a way or two of enforcing it, but the school authorities had the temerity to say, “We're in the business of educating kids.” Where are his values??

The investigative team at the Washington Post, meanwhile, had a front-page headline:

Blue Chip, White Cotton: What Underwear Says About the Economy

about how men’s underpants are a lagging economic indicator.

Well only some of us are lagging.

But, Imam, It Was Only ONE Beer!

2009-08-22T10:12:00.005-04:00

So, this Malaysian model caught drinking beer is supposed to be caned next week and she wants it to be done in public, not behind prison walls.

Must be one of us! From what little I have read, under Muslim law it will be only six strokes and they aren’t as hard as what we were led to believe from the Michael Fay case a dozen years ago or so. So she can probably deal with it. And become famous. And write a book. And appear on the Malaysian version of Larry Emir or Dr. Philistine.

I was never a fan of caning – didn’t even know what it actually meant until I got involved in this world well into my 40s. I mean it’s totally un-American! Not like switches, belts and ping pong paddles! Not to mention thick-soled sandals.

Anyway, the few realistic vids I have seen with mild pedagogical canings is making the practice a little brighter on my radar screen. And a chance to exhibit some examples.

A Touching Study and a Hue and Cry

2009-08-11T22:57:00.010-04:00

Some call it a commie rag, some call it the gray lady. Others call it the New York Times. I call it essential to understanding the science of spanking.

Today, there was an article about a scientific study that says touching someone, even for a few seconds, can evoke emotions “can express specific emotions — silently, subtly and unmistakably.”

This is why so many of us believe that the only proper spanking is by hand; that a naughty bottom is the most perfect hand-held device ever invented. (The researcher who did this study is a professor at the aptly named DePauw University.)

Commenting on the study was a Dr. Field, who heads something called the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami, said it was an important piece of work, although noting, “It’s unlikely we’d use touching as a means of expression with strangers. It’s reserved to intimate kinds of interactions.”

Duh. Touching is most definitely best reserved for the most intimate moments, such as deftly tugging panties down, rubbing a bare bum prior to slapping it meaningfully and then brushing the hair out of her tear-filled eyes. Oh, by the way, Dr. Field’s first name is Tiffany. Not exactly evocative of a weird scientists, but more so of someone who might have been touched intimately with an open hand.

That is not all. Last week, the venerable Times had a report from the wilds of science indicating that redheads feel more pain and faster than normal people.

I have known a redhead or two, one particularly well. I can make not scientific conclusion about redheads and pain, but I haven’t met a redheaded girl or woman whose very hair doesn’t scream out, SPANK ME! Kind of a hue and cry.

Feel free to make your own conclusions from the samples below, and please respond to the very simple poll to the right: Is a hand-spanking 1) the only way to go 2) best most, but not all, of the time 3) only for a mild offense 4) improper because a loving hand should not be an instrument of pain.

Potpourri for $600, Alex

2009-07-29T21:06:00.005-04:00

Since I have no deep thoughts about spanking that I wish to share with the wider community -- as I get older, mellower and as wise as a Latina woman I prefer to share deep thoughts with a few special people. I sure hope they know who they are ... and don't know one another!

So, with no theme in mind, here is a simple potpourri (or should that be popo?) of artwork I have accidentally discovered in the past few weeks.

New Link

2009-07-18T00:09:00.002-04:00

As an offering for not having posted much lately, I have made an addition to my blogroll of something called http://bestspankingblogs.blogspot.com

Whether they are the best or not is, of course, up to each reader. I will caution that some of the material is a little coarser than I would put on my own blog, but still of enough quality and variety to satify tastes other than my own.

Madame Justice

2009-07-10T09:36:00.004-04:00

Got to get back to work but this New York Times headline about U.S. Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor struck me, so to speak, and is rattling around. No time to fully explicate, but no real need to, either.

Court Nominee Manages Diabetes With Discipline

2009-07-06T20:24:00.003-04:00

One of the things that has stymied me as a writer of spanking fiction is total and complete, utter and shameful ignorance of women's clothing. It is why my favorite girl's outfit is a sweater or tee-shirt and jeans, shorts or pajama bottoms. So it is probably no big deal to middlebrow fashionistas to have come across a product that floored me when I opened my AOL billboard today.

Here is the rest of the story.

I did learn in the past year or so that the short pants worn beneath pleated short cheerleader skirts are called "spanky pants" or "spankies," but there is a whole line for adults?

Wow, where have I been!

What Do They Call the Fourth of July in England?

2009-07-03T16:06:00.004-04:00

Why, they call it July 4th, of course, silly!

Happy Independence Day weekend for those of the American persuasion.

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Our Little Margie

2009-06-29T18:24:00.000-04:00

News of Gale Storm's death brought back memories of watching reruns of "My Little Margie" when I was home from school sick or during summers.

Why would a little boy find interest in the story of an upper class Wall Street mortgage banker and his adult daughter still living with him?

Who knows, but maybe this is one reason.

Girls who wear glasses -- 1.5

2009-06-25T19:07:00.004-04:00

Shame on me for not being able to find all the bespectacled bespanked lasses in my archives. But honestly, my own glasses were deficient. i just went to the eye doctor, who gave me a new prescription, so in about a week I should be seeing things more clearly. Unfortunately, these ladies needed something else to see the light.

Loud and Clear

2009-06-16T22:48:00.003-04:00

Again, the news is full of stories about teens who can’t control their text messaging and their parents who don’t give a damn.

On Tuesday, Congress held a hearing about the outrageous fees the phone companies charge for individual texts – maybe 20 cents for each message when it only costs them less than a penny. Of course, they are trying to get people to sign up for the low-cost, higher volume plans, but I just don’t understand sentences like this from the local Fox channel report:

Gail Lundberg avoided a very expensive lesson in her teen's texting prowess.

"8,211 texts, for her alone, in one month," she said, pointing to her sheepish daughter sitting next to her. Gail says if they didn't have an inclusive plan, the bill per message would have been $1,600 dollars. Instead, daughter Lindsey can tap away, and Gail knows exactly how much it will cost her.”

I think, and I am sure most of you agree, that young Lindsey would learn more from an even more expensive and more useful plan -- a sound paddling that would answer once and for all the eternal question: “Can you hear me, NOW?”

Girls who wear glasses

2009-06-13T16:32:00.014-04:00

I have always been attracted to intelligent women, both for their intelligence and for their surreptitious need to be spanked. Not all smart girls, but enough to make me turn away in boredom from any woman who doesn't get my personality or humor. She would be displaying prima facie evidence of vapidity if she doesn't "get" me, and as my motto above notes: "If you don't get it, you don't get it."

I will have more to say in forthcoming blogs about this attraction, but in the meantime it came to my own attention that I had been collecting pictures but not posting them of women who want to look smart, even if they can't be smart.

To wit: "Folks often spank asses of girls who wear glasses." Sorry, Miss Parker.

Tweet!!!

2009-06-13T16:28:00.003-04:00

I have succumbed. I will now tweet when something pops into my brain worth sharing but not worth writing at length about.

Talk about short attention spans! (Dang! I honestly just typed it "short attention spanks" out of the habit of adding a k to words starting with S and ending in N. Who else can't write the Spanish without first adding a K?)

Anyway, visit occasionally at http://twitter.com/quixotoes

A mid-spring' s evening startle

2009-05-19T21:39:00.007-04:00

I do some volunteer work one or two nights a week at a place where the work requires a very quiet atmosphere. Which is odd, because the paid staffer who works evenings has a brassy voice that pierces the concentration required to do the job the right way. She is also red haired, middle aged and saucy.

I have suspected for a long time she is probably a spanko, actually since last October when we engaged in a little repartee ending with her giving me a friendly swat. Other than that, there hasn’t been the right moment—as if there ever is in real life—to explore, and that’s largely because there are other people volunteering at the same time.

Well tonight was something. She was being particularly loud of voice, and I had to mention very nicley to her that it was, in fact, interfering with my work. She was extremely and appropriately apologetic. But she has a wicked smile and a penchant for touching – in this case hugging, to make a point.

So I said the obvious:

“Ok, just don’t let it happen again.”

Then, quickly and quietly, while hugging me she replied tantalizingly, “Or what?”

Without even taking a breath or blinking, I whispered “Or I’ll spank you.”

And even more quickly than that she, whispered out of earshot of bystanders, “Then I’ll do it again!”

And boy do I hope she does!

In the meantime, a couple of shots to celebrate spring:

Prejeans down

2009-05-09T08:37:00.002-04:00

News you probably won't see

OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT

Press Conference: Miss Universe Organization

Broadcast on C-SPANK

Monday, May 11, 11 a.m. PDT

Los Angeles

MR. TRUMP: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the press. As you know, I prefer to stay in the background in my role as owner of the Miss Universe organization.

However, the recent controversy over the statements and previous activities of Miss Carrie Prejean has cast a cloud over all the fine young ladies who participate in this wonderful pageant.

Let me respond so we can put these distractions behind us.

First of all, Carrie was selected in a competition as fair and judicious as any beauty pageant ever.

Second, we ask these representatives of the finest of American youth to state their opinions as a measure of their intellectual abilities. So Carrie’s views on “gay marriage” while not necessarily my view or even a popular view among the media are her own and she still has First Amendment rights.

Third, as to the photos that have surfaced recently, they were taken when Carrie was doing a legitimate modeling job, and while we prefer not to have our paragons of virtue posing like Carrie did, I would point out that these picture are not what you would call salacious. For the genre, they are quite modest.

Some people have suggested that this crown (taking it from Prejean’s head) rightfully should go to the first runnerup, Miss Tami Farrell.

MISS FARRELL: Ohhh!!!

MR. TRUMP: However, for the reasons I just laid out, I believe a compromise is in order. Carrie showed extremely poor judgment in both her actions and her comments, but we cannot expect perfection from young adults. Since she was only 17 when she made the error in judgment, I think a solution is to allow her to keep her title, but with a penalty.

Come here, Carrie, and Tami, you stop pouting.

(Puts Miss Prejean across his lap, pulls her designer jeans down, lowers her soft pink panties and administers a sound spanking.)

CARRIE PREJEAN: OW.

CARRIE PREJEAN: Ooooooooooh!

PRESS: Gasp!

PHOTOGRAPHERS: Down in front!

TAMI FARRELL: Damn!

Sultans of Swat

2009-04-29T00:11:00.001-04:00

Capitalism lives in the strangest places! Not much comment needed here. For the record, this is from the New York Times and I shouldn't be reprinting it in toto. Maybe in Lassie, though.

April 28, 2009

Karachi Journal

Lacy Threads and Leather Straps Bind a Business

By ADAM B. ELLICK

KARACHI, Pakistan — In Pakistan, a flogger is known only as the Taliban’s choice whip for beating those who defy their strict codes of Islam.

But deep in the nation’s commercial capital, just next door to a mosque and the offices of a radical Islamic organization, in an unmarked house two Pakistani brothers have discovered a more liberal and lucrative use for the scourge: the $3 billion fetish and bondage industry in the West.

Their mom-and-pop-style garment business, AQTH, earns more than $1 million a year manufacturing 2,000 fetish and bondage products, including the Mistress Flogger, and exporting them to the United States and Europe.

The Qadeer brothers, Adnan, 34, and Rizwan, 32, have made the business into an improbable success story in a country where bars are illegal and the poor are often bound to a lifetime in poverty.

If the bondage business seems an unlikely pursuit for two button-down, slightly awkward, decidedly deadpan lower-class Pakistanis, it is. But then, discretion has been their byword. The brothers have taken extreme measures to conceal a business that in this deeply conservative Muslim country is as risky as it is risqué.

It helps that the dozens of veiled and uneducated female laborers who assemble the handmade items — gag balls, lime-green corsets, thonged spanking skirts — have no idea what the items are used for. Even the owners’ wives, and their conservative Muslim mother, have not been informed.

“If our mom knew, she would disown us,” said Adnan, seated on a leopard-print fabric covering his desk chair.

“Due to cultural barriers and religion, people don’t discuss these things openly,” Rizwan said. “We have to hide this information.”

Even customs officials were perplexed at how to tax the items, not quite sure what they were, they said.

Recently, when a curious employee inquired about the purpose of the sleep sack, a sleeping bag-like product used in certain kinds of bondage, she was told it was a body bag for the American military in Iraq.

Adnan Ahmed, a former air traffic controller who is now AQTH’s chief operating officer, said the items were undergarments. When asked if he considered a red-hot puppy mask an undergarment, he had a straightforward, but honest reply: “No. It’s just for joking.”

Still, word of the business has at times escaped. Last year four “powerful guys” from a conservative Muslim group threatened to burn down the factory if it was not closed within a week. The brothers calmly explained that it was merely a business, and that the items were not used in Pakistan. The next day they bribed a local Islamic political organization to ensure their safety.

These days, the gravest danger is Pakistan’s crumbling economy. The brothers idolize former President Pervez Musharraf, crediting their success to his industry friendly policies, like not requiring export licenses and banning trade unions. When Mr. Musharraf resigned last year, the brothers “didn’t eat for three days,” Adnan Qadeer said.

Since President Asif Ali Zardari took office, Adnan said, trade unions have been legalized and prices of some raw materials, including leather, have shot up, as have interest rates. The result: a 15 percent dip in AQTH’s profits.

Echoing the pervasive fears of entrepreneurs across the country, the brothers are considering relocating to East Asia if Pakistan becomes more unstable — or if they receive another threat.

The shoddy factory seems like an ode to their humble upbringing. Adnan’s executive bathroom has no toilet paper. Rizwan has no office. And their preferred lunch is Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Their inspiration for success came from their father, a civil servant who supported a family of six with a $150 monthly salary. While other children were forced into labor, or played aimlessly, the Qadeer brothers had to study.

In 2001, after the brothers graduated from a university, their father lent them $800, enough to purchase their first computer and to cover several months of rent on a studio apartment. There, the brothers searched the Internet day and night for a high-value garment product that was not widely available.

They experimented with basic leather goods, like jackets and pants. Adnan slept at mosquito-infested stitching factories to oversee sample runs that, in the end, proved more costly than their Chinese competitors.

“It was very hard time,” Adnan said. “We had nothing in our pockets, not even money to fuel our motorbike.”

Rizwan said: “People used to say: ‘You can’t do business in Pakistan. You’re wasting your time. Just go get a job.’ ” But our father boosted our morale.”

The brothers said Pakistan’s “stone-age production” worked to their advantage. The country, they said, lacks visionary product development. “Everyone’s still making the same products,” Adnan said.

Then, they discovered a kind of straitjacket online. At first, they thought it was used for psychiatric patients, but it quickly led them to learn about the lucrative fetish industry.

Without family connections in the finance industry, and with nothing to mortgage, they were refused a loan by four banks. “Our education was our only connection,” Rizwan said.

They finally secured a loan from an American bank, and then the Sept. 11 attacks offered a timely chance. Orders for garment exports were canceled across Pakistan in the slower economic climate, allowing the prices of raw materials like leather to be cut in half.

But fear after Sept. 11 raised suspicions among their own Western clients. On Sept. 12, 2001, a customer sent an e-mail message with a photo of two F-16s flying over Pakistan. Orders were canceled.

Today, they sell their products to online and brick-and-mortar shops, and to individuals via eBay. Their market research, they said, showed that 70 percent of their customers were middle- to upper-class Americans, and a majority of them Democrats. The Netherlands and Germany account for the bulk of their European sales.

“We really believe that if you are persistent and hard working, there is an opportunity, in any harsh environment, even in an economically depressed environment like Pakistan,” Rizwan said.

A major perk, they say, is attending international fetish shows to see how their products hold up in action.

“I go to Sin City every year,” said Rizwan, referring to Las Vegas in a sheepish laugh. It’s all business, he said. “Clients know our country and culture, and they don’t invite us to participate. We’re a little bit shy.”

Spring Stimulus

2009-04-16T19:03:00.010-04:00

Here in the USA and probably all over the G-20 nations, an economic stimulus is under way. With that in mind, I was thinking of other stimuli, and offer 20 variations I hope reach your G-spot.

The Name Game

2009-04-01T19:43:00.009-04:00

The other day, one of those really stupid articles popped up on my portal, making me at first wonder how vacuous the Internet editors think we are. But since I already knew the answer, my thoughts then turned to – what else: Spanking. Of course!

The article purported to analyze people’s names as indicators of their likely success, luck or attractiveness. For instance, James, Elizabeth, Caroline and Richard are said to be the most successful and Ann, Jane, George and Thomas the least attractive people.

I don’t put much stock in that, at all. Some of the most successful people have had truly weird names – Elvis, Madonna and Jesus come to mind.

But back on point, I have always had favorite names for girls I fantasize spanking, and I bet many of you have fantasy names either for your spanker or your own special spankee.

My favorites are, in order: Pamela (or Pam), Brenda, Patricia (or Trish but not Patty), Lynn (including Madalyn; rhymes with paddlin’), Laurie, Amy and Karen. Vote in the panel to your right.

What are your favorites?

While you think about that list, maybe you can attach some names to the following guests:

March Badness

2009-03-20T19:41:00.007-04:00

Apologies! I hadn't realized it had been yet another month between postings. I have had a couple of real-life encounters in the interim but nothing I wish to disclose here.

Today is spring, but still too cold where I am to feature outdoor spankings below, but in the U.S., anyway, the big celebration is the collegiate basketball tournament, upon which more money is wagered than was lost on Wall Street. The three weeks are known as "March Madness."

In honor of it, here are some examples of "March Badness." Dribble on!

Beating Out Rhythms

2009-02-21T16:59:00.009-05:00

Wow, hadn't realized it had been a month, almost, without posting, but some with a very stern tone brought it to my attention today.

I had hoped to use this blog for little essays that might provoke comments, but the more I have told people about the blog, the less I feel like sharing very personal thoughts. It's just that now that I have gotten to know (on line) a number of people better and shared this URL with them, I am not comfortable with some people knowing my business-- which when I started this was somewhat more anonymous.

Hard to explain -- just like everything about this special interest is hard.

To explain!! (Get your mind out of the gutter for a moment!)

One of the things that fascinates me is the rhythm of this thing. Most days, there is a balance between being a responsible, upstanding community citizen and thinking just a little bit about someone having to face responsibility and having to stand up the rest of the day.

Some days, I can barely function without thinking about spankings in all their glory. And on many days, without apparent rhyme or reason, I have zero interest in anything about cryin' or teasin."

There are times I am enamored of the simple hand spanking over the knee. Other times, for days or weeks, I get hung up on paddlings. Or belt spankings. Less so, but occasionally, switchings or canings. Sometimes jeans; sometimes skirts; sometimes panties.

Then there are times when I just feel guilty because I have something I can enjoy. Of course, guilt is something we are born with -- in different dollops, I guess -- and life is a journey trying to deal with it.

When I try to think my way through spankdom, my head starts to hurt! So I try to just accept it as who I am. As Hyman Roth said, in Godfather II, "This is the business we have chosen."

Enough. Here the pictures you probably came for. Wood on tush this time.

A little toponymy

2009-01-24T19:35:00.009-05:00

The august New York Times has a fun little feature about place names in Merrie Olde, including a notation about a "Spanker Lane" in Derbyshire. (That would be "derbuhsher," right, old chap?)

Oddly enough, this very morning I was reading a book that mentioned the study of place names as a method of determining cultural and ethnic history. The word for the study of place names?

Sit down....

"Toponymy"

Works for me. I'd much rather have a whale of toponymy than a whale on top of me!

I happen to live in the metropolitan area of Washington, D.C., the seat of government of the United States. Actually, I live just inside the famous circumferential highway that encompasses the power elite -- the Capital Beltway. Within the city, the Department of State is located in a neighborhood called Foggy Bottom.

Outside the city or towns called Seat Pleasant, Greenbelt and Beltsville, and a major suburban highway is called Backlick Road. On Capitol Hill, itself, major decisions are made by the House Banking Committee. (Say it fast.)

The subject of this blog just won't go away, God bless it. And to think that in the center of the most important house of the most important city in the most important country of the world live two children aged 8 and 10. Stay tuned!

Auto-Eroticism

2009-01-07T21:20:00.005-05:00

Sorry about the hiatus, but even spankings take a holiday. (Not really, but I need some excuse.)

This morning's paper provided it. Actually it's a sad story of dysfunctional parents and a boy who didn't want to miss the free breakfast at school, so he did what any kid would do. He took his mom's car and drove 10 miles to school, passing people at 60 mph. Oh, did I mention he is 6 years old? Now I have, in real life, heard of a 14 year old who routinely drove her father's sports car, but this is pretty special.

I don't think the boy in this particularly story was spanked, nor should he have been, but don't forget there is a history of auto-spanking to portray, and I do so below. That is spanking in or around cars, not the practice of self-spanking. Though it does remind me of this limerick:

A dictator rich and despotic
With tastes that were ultra-exotic
Said, "I've always adored
Making love in a Ford
Because I'm so auto-erotic."

Being a patriot, I do hope the future holds success for the Big Three so we can still spank in and around American cars.

Merry Season's Beatings

2008-12-23T15:52:00.009-05:00

Not much to say, except here's to the holiday -- the Christian one, because, basically Chanukah and Kwanzaa don't see to have a lot of spanking pictures! And, besides, we all pretty much celebrate the season, if not the reason.

Turning a Page

2008-12-14T15:36:00.007-05:00

Who knew?

From my first discovery of glossy spanking mags in the late 60s and early 70s, the queen of girl-on-girl spanking was this Bettie Page person. The black-and-white, overposed S&M motifs never turned me on, though I did wonder about the twinkle in her eye as she was bound, trussed and appeared ready to be thrashed.

Only in recent years did I learn that the spanking poses were but a minor part of her allure and fame. From reading the prominent obits in the nation's major newspaper, I was surprised to learn that this spanking model was so widely popular. It seems she coulda been a contenda to Marilyn and Jayne with better management, diction lessons and someone to guide her away from the strictures of religion.

So, while I was never a big fan, her passing last week is worth noting, as she was someone who helped bring such things as we enjoy into the mainstream.

Spankruptcy (A Fable)

2008-12-14T00:36:00.004-05:00

Fannie, Sallie and Ginnie—born on a triple-witching day—were running unsupervised through the May household when all of a sudden there came a clattering and tinkling of a family heirloom breaking into 750 billion pieces.

Yes, it was the glass seagull’s bill – perched on a narrow shelf in a recession far too accessible to irresponsible children. And these triplets were as predictably troublesome as their subprime IQs indicated.

“There are rules and regulations,” thundered their stepfather, Freddie Mack, and the violations will be dealt with accordingly.

“Plead your cases, children, and then we will take stock of the situation,” he said, “but I think your recklessness has foreclosed the possibility of forgiveness of your debts for this bad act.”

He was especially annoyed at the girls because their teacher had called to report that they had repeatedly failed to the week’s homework assignment, reading Chapters 7 through 11.

They were about to be punished for the failure of others to protect the once-treasured glass seagull, and Fannie, Sallie and Ginnie knew this never would happen if their father had been selected chairman of. and Congress had not changed the name of, the House Banking Committee.

Now their own house spanking was about to begin, and the kicking and screaming could be felt and heard all the way from Michigan to Alabama, with each debt SWAP SWAP SWAP.

Their troubled assets were then reorganized rather neatly under a new set of regulations that superseded the federal Troubled Assets Relief Program (TARP), namely Success Key Index Reprogramming and Training (SKIRT), which was to be lifted at a maturity date to be determined.

Above the Fruited Plains

2008-12-06T00:14:00.005-05:00

I wonder if any of these purple mountain majesties will be shed by Grace.

Big and Easy?

2008-12-03T08:55:00.002-05:00

I don't travel as much as I used to, but I will be in New Orleans the afternoon and evening of Dec. 9. Strange as it seems, I don't think I know anyone from this special community who lives there.

If I have forgotten, or if you do live there and would like to meet, please let me know at quixotoes@aol.com

Hate to be so shameless, but if you never ask ....

Ted

Bare-ack Pajama!

2008-11-30T18:00:00.005-05:00

The weather has taken a rather bitter turn lately, which I first noticed while taking my nightly constitutionals and peering in bedroom windows to notice that the naughty girls in the neighborhood are uniformly wearing pajamas.

Well, until it comes time for mama to send them to bed properly warmed. As you can see:

Jeans, Jeans, Roses are Red (too!)

2008-11-25T00:02:00.005-05:00

The weather has turned suddenly nippy, meaning it is time for a little heavier garb -- for instance, the denim made famous by Levi Strauss.

It is always a good time of year for some of us to confront a bejeaned young lady, Wrangler over your knee and then spank the bejeases out of her.

So Guess what subject of today's exhibition.

Copper Tops

2008-11-24T01:12:00.004-05:00

I am a little late in my tribute to the predominant hue of the autumn leaves around here, but let's just call this a tribute to redheads, who, from an unscientfic survey, seem to have their hair color genes entangled with their brat genes. And then their denim jeans.

Sofa' So Good

2008-11-09T18:54:00.011-05:00

It was the memory of 1970s interior decors of Herculon and zebra striped couches that first got me thinking of organizing spanking pictures by category. That was almost two year ago, but the hits keep on a'comin.'

To the Victor Goes the Spoiled

2008-11-09T13:53:00.005-05:00

Oh, yeah. Since this blog was last updated, we Americans held an er ... election.
Here is one interpretation of the event -- perhaps the winner's distaste for the campaign rhetoric of the loser's wife.

Abrasion of Privacy

2008-10-31T00:10:00.007-04:00

It is not a quirk, or kink, I instinctively gravitated toward when I first began fantasizing about spankings, but enough people are fascinated with the idea that I dug up from my archives some prime examples of the double humiliation of a spanking and a spanking in front of others.

First and Ten, Do It Again

2008-10-18T20:27:00.010-04:00

It was a beautiful autumn day, so I decided to take in the football game played by my alma mater. For those of you who do not fully appreciate American college football, I took some pictures to indicate the areas of main interest. Oh, the alma mater beat the crap out of a better team. But our grade-point-average remains lower.

For those of you who do understand college football, you will see below what really animates the alumni.

I'm Sorry, Gov. Palin! She Made Me Do It

2008-10-08T01:39:00.003-04:00

Poor Levi Johnson. He should have kept his johnson in his levis. Now he pays the price, but it is probably better than a shotgun. Looks kinda like the Bristol Stomp to me.